Monday, September 15, 2008

My toughest critic

I've often thought my biggest critic was myself...but upon quiet reflection this morning (yeah right) I realized that my toughest critic is not myself but someone else.  I got to wondering why this was...I wouldn't call this person critical, but every time we're together I become "all thumbs" when it comes to everything. I try to cook and it doesn't turn out, clothes I thought were cute seem boring and dull, everything is held to a higher standard in comparison and everything I say comes out wrong.  I feel as though I am always searching for approval from this person. You're probably wondering why I would want to be around them if I feel this way, but I think it has more to do with me and my own perception of this person. You see, to me, this person is flawless. Graceful, elegant, classy, kind and dignified. So my reason for posting this is to ask, how do you avoid feeling that people such as these are your toughest critics?


marcia@joyismygoal said...

oh stop' I am not perfect' teehee couldn't resist

No, I know what you mean but you have no reason --you are so cute cool and an amazing cook but--feelings are feelings-- usually based on our own self perception which can be skewed by one or many life experiences-- just tkae it to the Lord ask Him to help you see your self in his eyes and He loves us so much and will help us see if that we are wonderful and if we need help with something He can help:)

Suzanne said...

You're killing me! Who is it? I must know!!!! :)

Kathy said...

Wow I was a little scared reading this post- it is deep. I thought you were about to chew someone out. lol Then when I realized your were not I knew it could not be me you were talking about because I am always complimenting you on how cute you look, or how perfect your house is etc...........well it is the truth. I am really surprised that you struggle with this but I am sure Heavenly Father or any other good friend will be there to listen to your troubles. We all have them. Love ya.

Kathy said...

Ok, so I just realized I did not answer your question: "How do you avoid feeling that people such as these are your toughest critics?" I guess it kinda depends on why you feel that way. But over all: I try not to compare myself to others, which is a REALLY HARD thing to do. Also just recognize the blessings & gifts Heavenly Father has given you. Hope that helps:)

Colleen said...

Wow, I never would have thought that YOU of all people would feel this way. You are so perfect to me, and so young to be that way! Your house is always so cute and clean, and you always look so put together and fashionable. PLus, what is funny is that YOU are the one we all call for advice and to talk stuff out. You are not allowed to have even the slightest breakdown, what would the rest of us do? ;)

This blog sounds like something I would post because I feel that way all the time. I agree with Kathy in that you have to try really hard not to compare yourself to others. It is SO hard, and I am not really great with it, but it is something I am working on, too. I think it is okay to admire people for their strengths, but it is a fine line between admiration and wanting to be that person sometimes. Coveting thy neighbor's cuteness or cleanly home is still coveting, but it is SO hard, I know.

I used to tell my students in third grade that we all have our own strengths and weaknesses and if we all work together, we can use them to help each other instead of tearing each other down. Their test was 3rd grade Reading TAKS, I guess ours is the test of life.

I hope I never make you feel that way, if so, I sure don't intend to. I appreciate all you do for me, and if anything, I sometimes am guilty of anvying YOU!

Love ya girl! Look forward to the next time we can hang out; I had a great time with you the other night!

txmommy said...

Holly Holly Holly, you are so silly. YOu are adorable and your clothes are way cool and your kiddos are darling! But I get where you are coming from. We know ourselves well, and know our own struggles and weaknesses so of course we feel the lack at times.

I would suggest getting new friends, some ugly, messy, goofy ones so you always look spectacular next to them! :) Just kidding.

mbrooks said...

You want to know my secret? It's all in how you feel about yourself. It's your self esteem, your self confidence. If your confident in yourself, what does it matter what other think?

SandraK said...

Holly, I am so sorry that you have these feelings. Now this is coming from your critical mother-in-law. You have created a beautiful, serene haven from the world for your family. You live as you "should". You do things just right. We all love to come to your house to eat--you're a great cook. I look to come for the peace within your walls. Your kids are darling and always look so cute. You always look stylish and elegant (at least I think so.) I know you're not asking for compliments, but here they are anyway.

We all go through this feeling of inadequacy around some people. At least that's my perception. I do all the time. I just say to myself. Heavenly Father made me who I am with all my weaknesses (and strengths) so I can grow and hopefully at times bless others. I really don't know how to get over those feelings except to think that those folks are so blessed possibly they have struggles we don't know about and I'm lucky to have my struggles. I am who am because I feel a certain niche in someone's life. I'm not going to give the the old song about prayer etc, but it does work. Also, service to the one who makes you feel that way works too. You'll probably learn that someone makes them feel inadequate maybe even you.

I have a good life said...

I just have to say "ditto." I think you are so put together, your house is seems like everything you touch has a special magic touch!

But...we all feel that way. ALL of us....we always compare our weaknesses to their strengths and find ourselves lacking. If I had time, I could list my weaknesses and failings and I'd be here for hours. I just have so many of them.

Thanks for reminding us that none of us our perfect, but we all our awesome in God's eyes and each others.

The Tall and Short of it said...

I look at you and see a confident person! I think you feel this way just around this one person, right?? Maybe you should talk to this person. Let her/him know how you feel! Ps your friends think you are pretty darn cute!!!! (as do i)!
I think you should follow TXmommy's advice!